JUNKFILM

Ah, Old Boy. The movie have all come to love and love again. The ultimate revenge story with a twist so fierce it’ll knock the wind out of you. Korean mastermind, Park Chan-wook, made a brilliant, delivering film about redemption, revenge, and wicked relationships built on mistrust. Not to mention some amazing cinematography and camera work. Centered on the plot about a man who is kidnapped for seemingly no reason at all and held in a dank, dirty hotel room for 15 years with absolutely no contact with the outside world, the story drives in such a fashion that you dare yourself to look away, and find yourself not able to, even during the slow parts.

But…this tale of woe and action comes with a cost it would seem. Not so much on the original, but on Hollywood’s new trend to bastardize and destroy foreign films. And this cost is a hefty one. It would seem that Speilberg and Will Smith want to remake Oldboy into a flashy American cash crop. (Junk shivers in his seat writing this)

The pair have been looking to create a story for quite some time now, and talks have gone under way, according to Variety, discussing the remake of Korean genius, Oldboy.

As much as I am anti-remake, it would be an interesting ploy to bring this movie into the hands of Steven Spielberg (family friendly director) and Will Smith (family friendly actor). If you have not seen the movie yet, do yourself a bit of pleasure and go rent this monstrosity of wickedness. It’s a dark movie. And to see these two plunge into this dark of territory would be fun to watch. The “eating-the-live-octopus” scene and the brilliant ending with the twist that would make Will Smith into a Soccer Mom hated ally of the dark force… would be awesome.

Plus, we can then make fun of all the people who say annoying tripe like, “Hey, Spielberg’s a genius. That was a 100% original movie.” Just like everyone did when Departed came out… If you’re unaware, the film Departed was stolen from, Infernal Affairs, was ten-fucking-fold better.

I hate it when Hollywood remakes some of my favorite films, but I know, they are running out of concepts and want money. They don’t want creativity or originality, that’s fine. I understand the ideals they hold. I just don’t like them. This is why you see the same dreck, week after week, month after month, genre after genre, reappear on the screen. Meh. I can’t wait to see the horribleness of the Battle Royale remake. I will be in the theater laughing my ass off.