JUNKFILM

It must have been about 10 years ago, I was trolling some movie forum site, looking for gossip on the upcoming Star Wars Episode I when I noticed the term “spoiler ahead” staring at me. Taunting me. I look ahead, there was nothing bu the white background of the forum. I decided to try something and high-lighted the area, and sure enough, it worked. The poster had typed the next “spoiler” section in white to blend in.

The spoiler was born for me.

Years passed and I did a review for a booming critic website where I wrote 2 reviews of The Passion of the Christ: 1 as a subtle, hinting review, never once mentioning Jesus being tortured or dying, and the other as one giant spoiler. How could you not know what you were getting into this that film?

Since then, many spoilers have become tripe for me. The Village was spoiled by bad script writing, the Charlie’s Angels sequel was spoiled by bad trailer editing, and Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince was spoiled to a crowd of people at a midnight release by some asshole kids driving by telling them what page Dumbledore dies on.

There is a shirt available that I LOVE! Hit the link to check it out. Spoilers have become fun and still coveted by the film going crowd. Some plug their ears and hum until you have finished talking, some quickly navigate away from a page that has a roll over spoiler content, while others revel in the idea that they are ruining someone’s movie-going experience. Personally, I don’t like my stories spoiled for me, but sometimes you have to know what you’re getting into. Remember when you first found out Vader was Luke’s father? Did you hear about it first or was it an amazing experience when you witnessed the Bespin cut-off hand scene?

But I digress from my original intent of this post.

Recently, in Los Angeles a group or singular person is running around and spraying graffiti on the Marley and Me advertising: banners, posters, what have you. What are they spray painting? They are tagging the spoiler for the ending of the film.

Just trying to do my good deed for the day by showing the censored version.

Uncensored 1
Uncensored 2
Uncensored 3

I had to laugh. And like /film said, I’d be pissed if someone spoiled Empire Strikes Back or Seven Samurai for me, but something about a crappy, campy, holiday family shit film makes it so much more delightful.
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