JUNKFILM

So, this past week, on Monday to be exact, I think, I watched a lot of
The Office (the American version, not the British version. Although I
have no problem with that version either, it’s just not my cup of tea,
eh?) and that got me in the hankering mood to watch my favorite
character, Dwight (sometimes it’s Jim and sometimes it’s Creed, but
it’s never Michael) in something else. I chose The Rocker. Directed by
some guy, and another guy, produced by a lot of people and starring
Christina Applegate, Rainn Wilson (not sure how to pronounce that. Is
it “rain” or “ray-in” or “ryan”?) and some kids from the Disney or
Nick channel.

I wasn’t sure what to expect, because when you grow to love a
character in one show (for me it’s Jennifer Aniston as Rachel. She
will always be Rachel, and a lot of the roles she chooses are just
Rachels in disguise. That’s why I liked her in that rape movie and in
The Good Girl, because she WASN’T Rachel.) but when you love an actor
for one character they play so well, sometimes they’re ALWAYS that
character and while it’s still entertaining, you begin to wonder if
they have real merit or not. Either way, I watched the whole movie
once alone, and once again with Junk, who, despite what he tells you,
laughed as much as I did.

So here we go - Fish (Rainn-y day Wilson) was dumped out of his band,
Vesuvius (he came up with the name, damn it!) when they get a record
deal and that leads to a boring, flat line of 20 years, where Fish has
hit bottom and while he tries to forget and get over what his band did
to them, he knows he missed out on the light and hates them for it. He
has accepted normality and becomes a pretty straight laced, normal guy
(save for a terrible wardrobe and a short ponytail). Meanwhile, his
nephew (who’s played by a generic fat guy, but very fun) Matt and his
band (A.D.D.) need a new drummer. Matt is the fat guy who can’t get
chicks, but think that him on keyboards is enough to woo at least one
(and he’s right) and Curtis, the lead singer of the band is a broody,
emo good-looking Disney kid with daddy issues, and has a hot mom
(Christina Applegate). The third member is a chick! I know, a girl in
a rock band (although it’s not real rock) is preposterous. But we
(women) are making great strides, apparently, in the fields of music
and movies, so it’s completely plausible.of course, you can tell where
it’s going from here.

Fish joins the band, hilarity ensues, oops - a little bit of drama,
blah, blah, blah. I will conclude by saying this - the script is
disgusting. It’s predictable and so utterly reeking of cliche you
can’t help but feel sick. You can guess what’s coming around the
corner next from a mile away. The dialog isn’t great, but it has it’s
moments. The acting is fun - the girl is spunky (she was in Superbad,
which I did not enjoy the first time like everyone else did. It’s all
right, I’m just saying. Seth Rogan gets on my nerves with his deep
gravely voice that’s a little whiny and not at all confident), the fat
guy is a little desperate, but lovable (most fat actors are.
Apparently, fat and funny is the new skinny and talented) and Rainn
pulls of a decent performance as well, given the material he had to
work with.

So… in conclusion I say this: I love eye make up on men as much as I
love spandex and scarves on my men (which is a lot) and Rainn can pull
it off well. As much as I loved him in the 80’s glam wash-up, I love
him more as Dwight. I feel like, for me, he will always be Dwight. The
whole movie I was missing his mustard colored shirts, his glasses, his
holier-than-thou demeanor and his extensive knowledge of all things
bear and karate. If you enjoy the humor of The Office, this movie will
give you a few laughs but will not satiate that hunger you feel for
off-beat and embarrassingly painful humor. Fact: The writing just
isn’t that good.

But watch it once, for the sake of saying you saw it, and enjoy it.
But don’t plan on enjoying it more than once or twice. Although the
second time I watched it I found so much more to it than the first
time, so many more subtle story lines and ambient symbolism. False. I
did not.

Ritiland

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