JUNKFILM

So kill me. I liked this movie.

The digital work sucked, like the cat that’s being hacky-sacked. The
feet kicking the face.

But I loved the sexual innuendos (in your endo!) with the hair
cutting, especially when he spit the conditioner into her hair, that
was a bit yucky. I wonder what they were using for that… I can’t
imagine Adam Sandler actually putting hair conditioner in his mouth.
Or lotion or whatever. It must be some kind of coconut syrup or
something. But that’s the not the point… actually, he probably would
do it. If any actor would, it’s him.

I liked the bulge in the pants. I liked how awesome his fighting was.
Or rather, the stunt’s fighting. I love the business named “Going out
of business” and Mariah Carey. She was pretty funny in it, but I do
still get the impression that she’s a stuck up bitch. She seems like
one of those women who’s like, “Oh I’ll totally be in the next Happy
Madison movie, because I need to make a comeback and that’s the type
of movie people wouldn’t expect me in. I’ll catch them off guard with
how awesome I look now that I’m not crazy and how I still like
butterflies, and they’ll fall in love because I’m hot as well as
clever. Why else would I be in a movie with Adam Sandler if I’m not
funny?” I’ll tell you why. She’s shtupping the director. Or maybe the
Janitor… that’d probably be enough to get her into this movie. Yuck.
I bet he wasn’t even good looking. And I bet she doesn’t get that
comeback she’s looking for.

All in all, it was fun to watch, but definitely not one of Adam
Sandler’s best. I enjoy his pre-Anger Management days myself, although
I did enjoy him in Spanglish and 50 First Dates. But he’d be smart not
to follow this slapstick, over the top goofy path too far. I like him
best when he’s witty and not appealing to children (like in Click and
Bedtime Stories, eh, Junk??)

Now I’m off to watch Bugs Bunny cartoons compiled with Road Runner
cartoons into a 1979 full length feature “movie.” This sounds
exciting.