JUNKFILM

 God damnit….. ok ok …. Like I have a place to bitch here.  MTV has never promised anything that (1) I was excited about, or (2) was correct.  Having the MTV Movie Awards is like having a large man rape you in jail with a barb-wired cock while singing “Yankee-Doolde Dandy” and a skunk wearing a bonnette plays the banjo while sucking on a bottle of gin laughs at you fromthe adject cell and his cellmate is trying to text his mother in Alabama for some more homemade cookies with raisins.  It makes no fucking sense and NO ONE GIVES A SHIT.

Here is the atrocity that is the nominations for this year’s awards.

BEST MOVIE (voting stays live throughout the 2009 Movie Awards ceremony)

• The Dark Knight
• High School Musical 3: Senior Year

• Iron Man

• Slumdog Millionaire

• Twilight

BEST FEMALE PERFORMANCE

• Angelina Jolie - Wanted (Universal Pictures)
• Anne Hathaway - Bride Wars (20th Century Fox)
• Kate Winslet - The Reader (The Weinstein Company)
• Kristen Stewart - Twilight (Summit Entertainment)
• Taraji P. Henson - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Paramount Pictures)

BEST MALE PERFORMANCE

• Christian Bale - The Dark Knight (Warner Bros. Pictures)
• Robert Downey Jr. - Iron Man (Paramount Pictures)
• Shia LaBeouf - Eagle Eye (DreamWorks SKG/ Paramount Pictures)
• Vin Diesel - Fast & Furious (Universal Pictures)
• Zac Efron - High School Musical 3: Senior Year (Walt Disney Pictures)

BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE FEMALE

• Amanda Seyfried - Mamma Mia! (Universal Pictures)
• Ashley Tisdale - High School Musical 3: Senior Year (Walt Disney Pictures)
• Freida Pinto - Slumdog Millionaire (Fox Searchlight)
• Miley Cyrus - Hannah Montana: The Movie (Walt Disney Pictures)
• Vanessa Hudgens - High School Musical 3: Senior Year (Walt Disney Pictures)
• Kat Dennings - Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist (Columbia Pictures)

BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE MALE

• Robert Pattinson - Twilight (Summit Entertainment)
• Taylor Lautner - Twilight (Summit Entertainment)
• Ben Barnes - The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (Walt Disney Pictures)
• Dev Patel - Slumdog Millionaire (Fox Searchlight)
• Bobb’e J. Thompson - Role Models (Universal Pictures)

BEST COMEDIC PERFORMANCE

• Amy Poehler - Baby Mama (Universal Pictures)
• Anna Faris - The House Bunny (Columbia Pictures)
• James Franco - Pineapple Express (Columbia Pictures)
• Jim Carrey - Yes Man (Warner Bros. Pictures)
• Steve Carell - Get Smart (Warner Bros. Pictures)

BEST VILLAIN

• Derek Mears - Friday The 13^th (Warner Bros. Pictures)
• Dwayne Johnson - Get Smart (Warner Bros. Pictures)
• Heath Ledger - The Dark Knight (Warner Bros. Pictures)
• Johnathon Schaech - Prom Night (Screen Gems)
• Luke Goss - Hellboy II: The Golden Army (Universal Pictures)

BEST FIGHT

• Anne Hathaway vs. Kate Hudson - Bride Wars (20th Century Fox)
• Christian Bale vs. Heath Ledger - The Dark Knight (Warner Bros. Pictures)
• Ron Perlman vs. Luke Goss - Hellboy II: The Golden Army (Universal Pictures)
• Robert Pattinson vs. Cam Gigandet - Twilight (Summit Entertainment)
• Seth Rogen and James Franco vs. Danny McBride - Pineapple Express (Columbia Pictures)

BEST KISS

• Angelina Jolie and James McAvoy - Wanted (Universal Pictures)
• Freida Pinto and Dev Patel - Slumdog Millionaire (Fox Searchlight)
• James Franco and Sean Penn - Milk (Focus Features)
• Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson - Twilight (Summit Entertainment)
• Paul Rudd

  

  and Thomas Lennon - I Love You, Man (Paramount Pictures)

• Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron - High School Musical 3: Senior Year (Walt Disney Pictures)

BEST WTF MOMENT (New Category)

• Amy Poehler - Baby Mama, Peeing In the Sink (Universal Pictures)
• Angelina Jolie - Wanted, Curved Bullet Kill (Universal Pictures)
• Ayush Mahesh Khedekar - Slumdog Millionaire, Jumping in the Poop Shed (Fox Searchlight)
• Ben Stiller - Tropic Thunder, Tasting the Decapitated Head (DreamWorks SKG/ Paramount Pictures)
• Jason Segel and Kristen Bell - Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Naked Break-Up (Universal Pictures)

BEST SONG FROM A MOVIE (New Category)

• “Jai Ho” - AR Raham, Slumdog Millionaire (Fox Searchlight)
• “The Wrestler” - Bruce Springsteen, The Wrestler (Fox Searchlight)
• “The Climb” - Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana: The Movie (Walt Disney Pictures)
• “Decode” - Paramore, Twilight (Summit Entertainment)

Now, if you’ve seen Wolverine then you are probably in the same boat when I ask, “What the fuck for?” But if you are one of those pleebs that really liked the misery abortion then I feel a welling up of glee in those shallow throats.

Jackman wants to make a sequel of his 5-day old baby and it’s understandable since it’s already grossed $158 million on it’s opening weekend worldwide. Variety can confirmed that Jackman will be producing a sequel to the Wolverine film focusing on the Japan arch of Wolverine’s past. Jackman is enthusiastic of seeing his “anarchic character, the outsider, being in this world — I can see it aesthetically, too — full of honor and tradition and customs and someone who’s really anti-all of that, and trying to negotiate his way.”

While no scribes have been officially claimed for the script yet, Simon Beaufoy (Slumdog Millionaire) has been talked to in hopes of penning a draft.

Great. Japanese Wolverine with Bollywood musical.

-Junk