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Archive for June, 2009

Jun 30 2009

Oh NOES! Remakes and deleted scenes!

Published by junkfx under Movie News Edit This

2 Reamkes That Make Us Cringe!

If you have yet to read that Steven Spielberg and Will Smith are trying to remake one of the best films of 2003, Chan-wook Park’s masterfully executed Old Boy, then you just don’t read this page as much as you should. It would seem that Spielberg is pushing full steam on this project and even going to court over the legality of it.

While we shutter to think of Will “Give Me My God Damn Paycheck” Smith playing the lead, it has leaked that they will not be so-much remaking the film but rather the manga the film was based on.

We still think this is a bad idea on multiple levels… However, not as bad as this…
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Let the Right One In American Remake… WTF!?

Aside from The Wrestler, Benjamin Button, and Martyrs, Let The Right One In was easily in my top favorites of last year’s films and was sent rocketing up to my #1 position for favorite vampire films ever.It’s creepy, it’s paced beautifully, and it’s a story that will haunt your very core.

So why the fuck is an American company remaking it? The only info I could find quickly was that Avy Kaufman is doing the Cast Director, so finding a pair of 12-year old kids might actually turn out well, and that Matt Reeves is directing. Reeves is known for his writing (if one can call it that) for Under Siege 2, and his directing (again….) for Cloverfield.

I am sitting in a pool of my own fear that people will think that this is an original film or worse, like the American version of the Ring, better than it’s predecessor.
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Tranformers 2 Makes a Shitload of Money

Who the fuck cares?
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T3: Deleted SCene…

If you’re like any sane-thinking human being you never even thought about purchasing Terminator 3 on DVD. But it turns out there is a cut scene on the disc. It explains why the terminators all look like Arnold….Oh giant mecha-fighting hopping ghost Christ… This is bad…

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Jun 24 2009

Rebooting our childhood

Published by junkfx under Movie Talk Edit This

Hollywood is run by f.a.d.s (betcha didn’t know it was an acronym, huh?) and power words.  It’s true.  Look at huge blockbusters, ok?  When one comes out and gets huge bank at the box office you’ll see a bunch of clones just along for the ride.  When disaster movies make the waves, you will see more and more disaster films until they aren’t cool anymore.  When comic book movies swing into action you see a bunch of other comic book films take stage.

Where are we now?  Ladies and gentlemen, I am ashamed to say that we live in the un-original age.  We are in the middle or hopefully at the tale end of the  “Reboot, Remake and Reimage” era.

I hate remakes when they are done poorly, and let’s face it the grand majority of remakes are fucking terrible.  With the select few acceptions of films like Dawn of the Dead and….uh…. man, that’s about it.  Remakes like Lake House, Departed, Insomnia, In the Bedroom, Unfaithful, Man on Fire, My Sassy Girl, Manchurian Candidate, (and I’m just looking at my DVD shelf…) and every other fucking horror flick in the past 5 years, and a shit load of chick flicks are all remakes and it makes me sick.  Yes, everything has been done before, and yes there are only 7 types of stories, but that doesn’t mean you have to remake someone else’s idea and not give hella credit to it.  I fucking hate seeing a movie come out and the blurb reads “Most original film” (ie, see the DVD box art for the American version of Pulse).

HELLO!!!  Red Flag!  How is it original when it’s the same fucking movie as the Japanese Pulse?

Departed gets best director Oscar and it’s a fucking remake!  Hello?  Red Flag!

But the other scary thing in Hollywood now is the Reboot and Reimagine.  This is far more terrifying than the Remake.  Why, you ask?  Let’s take a look in a dramatization.

Director: “I like this movie, but it’s not the way I would have done it.”

Critic: “That’s cool.  Make a fan film and release it online.”

Director: “Nope.  I think I’m gonna use the idea of this and just make it my way.”

Critic: “So, you’re going to steal someone else’s idea, with bought rights or not, change things that made the original what it was and rerelease it with your name all over it?”

Director: “So, you’re saying I should do a toy-tie in?  Excellent idea.”

Coming soon we’ll see The Karate Kid remake being turned into Kung-Fu Kid (produced by JunkFilm’s most hated advisory, Will Smith, and starring the spawn of Smith).  Coming soon we’re going to see the reboot of A Nightmare on Elm Street.

We’ve already seen a reboot of Friday the 13th, a reboot of Halloween, a reboot of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. We’re looking at a Fantastic Four and Daredevil reboot as well as a Tomb Raider reboot.  Where will it all end?

Thank god we still have indie films to keep our minds reeling and our souls engaged.  Now, if only we could influence the big studios to realize that their movies are tripe and to give some more budgets to smaller films with real heart.

Keep your eyes out for more reboots and reimagines and try as hard as you can to stay away from them.

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Jun 23 2009

Last Aribender Teaser

Published by junkfx under Movie News Edit This

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Jun 18 2009

Why did X-Men 3 suck so much?

Published by junkfx under Movie Talk Edit This

Yesterday at work I watched X-Men 3.  It was one of the few films I had that I hadn’t seen in the past couple weeks.  So I’m watching it and noticing things I hadn’t before.  If you are new to this blog then you probably haven’t read my loathing for Brett Ratner yet, but allow this to be an intro course.

Ahem…

I hate Brett Ratner.  When I found out he was directing the new Conan I almost shit my pants because the Ebola virus was transfered from from the news page online into my eyes and finally circled my large intestine.

Back to X3 theory.  While X-Men 1 and 2 (both driected by Usual Suspect’s director, Brian Singer) were arguably some of the greatest comic book adaptation films made, their immediate sequel was mind-numbingly terrible.  Like the 1990 Captain America mixed with Roger Corman’s Fantastic Four terrible.  But why did it suck so much?

I believe I found it.  It’s the character drama that makes it interesting and well, for lack of a better term, good.  I’ve said this for years with television series.  I can’t stand episodic shows (Burn Notice, Smallville Season 1, grand majority of things on tv) but I love continuity based shows (OZ, Smallville Season 2- halfway through 7, United States of Tara, Dexter).  Why do I like these kind of shows?  Because I like to live through the lives of these characters.  If we only see a glimpse of their lives in the episodic episodes we aren’t prevvy to everything their lives contain thus negating our connection to them and not having that intimate link with the show’s character.  This is why X-Men 1 and 2 work so well, there isn’t alot of episodic action, there is a lot of drama and character development.  Truth be told, most of the action sequences in movies I can by-pass the same way some assholes can just skip to them and just watch those scenes.  The action, yes is important, but it’s the parts of silence in between that make the characters and story worthwhile.

X-Men 1 and specially 2 delved into the character sides of the X-Men and made us feel who they were.  There were slow scenes that built up to character defining arcs that made you walk away with a good understanding of who these people are.  While on the other hand, 3 was determined to throw as many story lines as possible at the script where only one of them was needed and too much action for the story to handle.  We don’t care because the character we like is only on the screen for a few seconds (ie, Jamie Madrox, Psylocke, ect.).

I love the X-Men is putting in other characters from the universe, this has been my biggest complaint to date about the Marvel films.  In a universe as big as Marvel’s superheroes would be quite aware of other super heroes.  It’s just stupid to make a movie with a concept that Spider-Man is the only superhero in New York.  I understand the financial side where you can’t afford to drop a character in evry other scene and pay royalties to the creators, but a name drop goes a long way (ie, X-Men 2 with the data base with all the names of mutants).

But to throw in names and people haphazardly is irresponsible.  Ok, Ok, I understand the fandom side, it’s fun, but I don’t like seeing one of my favorite characters, Deadpool, in a fucking movie where the only reason I paid $10 was to see Deadpool in the movie for 5 minutes and he was out of costume….

But I digress.

X-Men 3 serves as a fantastic fan film.  But truth be told, that’s it.  If this was made in someone’s back yard I would applaud heavily and ask how the hell they got Ian to come back for Magneto.  But alas, it was not a fan film, it was a studio film and there in lies the problem. let’s hopeX4 and the following Marvel films don’t suck.

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Jun 07 2009

Friday the 13th

Published by junkfx under Reviews - New Edit This

Holy living shit!

ARGH!

How many other people sat through this dreck? Let me take the bigger position here and stand up and say, I’m sorry.

This “re-imagining” is nothing more than trivial tripe. The movie is almost a fan-film that fucking fails so phenomenally that fans and freaks alike forbid fornicating during the film. Wow, ok, that’s enough of the “trying to write something decent.” This movie was so fucking bad it was hilarious!

However, not in the fun fun hilarious way we watch all the other slasher films. We watch them for ONE reason and ONE reason only. We want to see new and interesting deaths, kids who get ripped apart and comedically torn up. We want to see Jason, Michael, or Freddy track down, hunting them like vermin, and gutting them so violently that we no longer are squicked, but rather anticipate the new murder like Christmas morning, wondering what will be brought to us. This movie has some of the most boring kills of the entire Friday the 13th series, let along any slash series I can pull off my shelf. They are just fucking dull.

OH! Slashed throat.

Oh no! Slashed stomach.

Oh my god. Stabbed.

C’mon guys, your ENTIRE job is to make us jump and feel icky when we leave the theater, looking over our shoulders for the dark corners. But no, we are treated to dull, foreseeable pathetic scenarios with paper-thin characters and get this… best part, NO PLOT! There is no story. Kids go out to find some mystery crop of weed, Jason steps out and kills them. Kids go out to have a weekend away from school (or where ever) and a tag-along is looking for his missing sister, Jason steps out and kills them. Uh….. Sigh.

Don’t waste your time or your mental awareness. If you’re anything like me, you’ll forget you’re watching a movie and start doing something progressive… you know, like breathing.

3 responses so far

Jun 07 2009

IGN interviews Wade…er, Ryan Reynolds about Dead Pool

Published by junkfx under Uncategorized Edit This

Thanks to Bryan for forwarding this to me!

Taken from IGN.
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IGN: It must be interesting in that sense because you’ve sort of tinkered with these quasi-franchises. A few minutes as Deadpool in Wolverine, for instance. Blade, I think, was a good example of something that could have gone on…

REYNOLDS [laughs] You mean when I was playing Deadpool in Blade?

IGN: And with Deadpool you’re playing a character who could reasonably go on to have a hugely successful franchise. Is that intimidating to you, as a performer, being on the doorstep of that – before there’s a script, before there’s a director, just thinking, “Holy sh*t, this could actually happen”?

REYNOLDS: We’re just trying to get it right. There’s so many variables to play. It’s tough because when you have a character like Deadpool, to the greatest extent of your power, you want to bring as much authenticity to that character as possible. And by “authenticity,” I don’t mean that you’d want to make him somebody that you’d have a Starbucks coffee with, I mean that you want to make him as close to the comics as possible. And there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do to make sure that ends up on film, but sometimes things are out of your control, things that you can’t change. But I’m really happy, in these early talks, that the studio is as obsessed with making it as close to the comic book source material as possible. And that’s all I really needed to hear. Cuz I will husk-f*@k a herd of cattle to bring Wade Wilson to life as the real deal.

IGN: It may be entirely too early to ask this question…Deadpool isn’t necessarily a villain in the opening moments of Wolverine, but he’s certainly a villain by the end of the movie. Will there be any real effort to make it fit within the continuity of Wolverine? Or will you just allow it to be its own thing?

REYNOLDS: Without saying too much, I can’t imagine that there’s gonna be any tie-in to the Wolverine movie at all.

IGN: One would think, given that you’re buried under rubble and headless.

REYNOLDS: Exactly. There’s that little teaser at the end, but for the most part, I can’t imagine that they’d tie it in with the film too closely.

IGN: And you’ve said previously, the Deadpool we glimpse in Wolverine isn’t necessarily the character you’d want to play. You’ve spoken about doing the more self-aware –

REYNOLDS: Absolutely! That’s the reason to do it…There’s nothing else like that in movies, or comic books, for that matter. I would like to make him self-aware; I’d like to have a bit of a pop-culture air going on throughout the film. I mean, the greatest villain in a Deadpool comic is Deadpool. There’s a lot you can do there, but you’ve gotta ask, “Who’s the boss? Who’s the guy he’s going up against?” But it’s breaking the fourth wall; it’s including all those things in a way that works, but it’s not nearly as hard as it sounds. It can really be done. And people tend to overlook the greatest resource we have, which is the comic book. If it can be done in the comic, it can be done on film in a way that’s just as much fun to watch for people who know nothing about the character than for people who are obsessed with the character.

IGN: It’s interesting, in this job, to talk to people about a project that is still, in some way, sort of a whisper. You’re not shooting; there’s nobody attached; there’s no script. Barely even a concept. And I’d imagine that so much of this is living simply in your head for the moment, how do you protect it? How do you ensure to yourself and the audience that the movie you want to make is the movie you will?

REYNOLDS: The biggest question is finding a filmmaker. Film is a director’s medium, not an actor’s medium. I have a voice, but there are louder voices in the room than mine. One is the studio and one is the director. And I respect that. The studio is paying a lot of money. It’s very easy to discount the studio’s opinion, but ultimately, they’re paying for it. It’s hard to not just tell everybody everything about it because you just get so excited. There’s so much to do with a movie like this, so much you can do, and I’m just trying to figure out a way to structure all of those things around kicking Captain America in the nuts.

IGN: Part of it is just getting you to the place where you have the power to just say, “Well, if we don’t do it this way, I’m out.”

REYNOLDS: Yeah, if only! I’ve never been that guy. I’m not a diva. I’ve always been a really collaborative person. And I love film for that reason. A movie is only as good as the sum of its parts. I’m only as good as the grip. You gotta have everybody firing on all cylinders. I’d love to have a working script that the crew reads and is absolutely stoked to make.

IGN: Not to belabor the point, but Deadpool is really the character where, if you’re casting Deadpool, you’re a smart choice for that. It works with much of what you’ve done already – the comedy, the drama.

REYNOLDS: Yeah, all those things. And I have ideas for it that I think are right in tune with the tone of that character. I’m dying to see them on film. Literally, dying. So many of the outlets that follow this character are curious what the elements will be, afraid that you won’t be disfigured, that you won’t wear the mask, and I laugh because there’s no way to do this without having the scarring, having the mask, having it all. And it can be done. It’s a no-brainer in that sense. You gotta have the character of Deadpool. You don’t want to just invent something new and call it Deadpool.

IGN: So what’s next for you? You’ve done The Proposal. Deadpool’s on the horizon…

REYNOLDS: I have two dramas – one in the summer, one in the fall – and then, hopefully, after that, we’ll get to tackle this crimson f*@ker.

IGN: Is it intimidating when you’re going into a movie like Deadpool to think how much training you’ll have to do?

REYNOLDS: That part’s freaking me out. I also realize that it’s not really a typical movie, a three-month commitment. It’s a year commitment. It’s a year of training. I’ve always kept up with the swords from Wolverine just because I loved it. It always freaks people out when they’re at the house and they see the swords lying around.

IGN: Especially when you pick one up and say, “Let’s try something.”

REYNOLDS: “Let’s go for this! I’m gonna perform some amateur circumcision!” That part I love. I love training for a movie. I’m a tall guy, so it’s a little harder to do the gymnastics stuff, but I did a lot when I was younger, so I’d like to work solely on that.

IGN: When you do a movie like The Proposal, with romantic comedies, typically you’ll do one and then maybe, if you’re lucky, it’ll do well enough to warrant a sequel. So you go into it thinking, “Okay, at most, this is a two film commitment.” Something like Deadpool, that could be three films, maybe eight or ten years.

REYNOLDS: Best case scenario! That’s a high-class problem you’ve just described there.

IGN: “Oh, my god, I’ve got to play this incredible character for eight years of gainful employment.”

REYNOLDS: Yeah, it’s not like I’ve got flies landing on my eyeballs, right? It’s a high-class problem, and it’s a character I love. There’s so much to do with a character like that. So three films, to me, seems almost appropriate.

IGN: Can you talk a bit more specifically about the two dramas?

REYNOLDS: One, I can’t really talk about because it hasn’t been announced yet. The other is a very Hitchcock-esque kind of suspense movie called Buried. I play a contractor – not a solider; more like a driver, really – for one of these firms like Blackwater. It’s set in Iraq. In fact, this is how odd the movie is, I’m the only person in the movie.

IGN: As an actor, when you get a script like that, when you’re carrying the whole movie…

REYNOLDS: A lot of Hitchcock movies were very experimental like that – playing with real-time, or location. This one takes place in a coffin.

IGN: Lastly…Your message to fans who are concerned about Deadpool, those who only got a glimpse of you –

REYNOLDS: And I wasn’t even the Deadpool that they knew.

IGN: Exactly…What would be your message to them to assuage their fears about the upcoming movie?

REYNOLDS: If they can imagine if one of them were given the opportunity to do a Deadpool movie, just imagine that’s what’s happening. Just to have faith in that. And to have faith in the studio. It’s hard for fans to do that, but I feel like they really want to do an authentic Deadpool movie….He’s like Jason Bourne meets Phantom of the Opera by way of Caddyshack. And that, right there, is a wholly originally character, and that’s what excites the dark overlords who fund this film. And me.

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Jun 03 2009

Star Wars: Old Republic Trailer

Published by junkfx under Uncategorized Edit This

Alright. I know this isn’t a movie trailer and for that I am sorry. I try to keep this blog as movie oriented as possible… but since this is a game based on the films of George Lucas, I can see passed it. Welcome, to the new MMO, The Old Republic. Now, I am a WoW addict, but this might be something that would drag me away. When Star Wars Galaxies was first out I was an addict-extreme of the game until the parent company took 36 professions and cut them down to 9… killing my character instantly. There has been no better game until they fucked it up. But this game… this game isn’t by Sony. So i have hope. And after this trailer… I am drooling.

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