While it didn’t make the 31 movies, it isn’t because it’s not one of my more favorite scary movies, but it’s because you, the reader, might have trouble tracking it down, and the entire reason of writing this 31 days thing was to offer you other choices at the rental houses.
August Underground - 2001 and Mordum - 2003
The plot for the movie is pretty easy to follow: Two serial killers go on a murdering rampage as one films the outcome from behind a video camera. One of the most realistically portrayed simulated snuff films.
I had read about this movie on some forums online claiming it was the “most disgusting movie ever made” and simply had to check it out. 9 times out of 10 when an accusation like that is made the movie turns out to be fucking dull and weak. This time, I found myself not being able to watch the entire movie in one sitting. There is some pretty nasty stuff here. Not to mention the over the top sequel, Mordum. Yes, these movies have their faults. Yes, you can hear the blood capsule breaking when they slit throats, but step back, take a look at it from an outside film-fan view and you will see something truly memorable.
When the first film was released it was released on VHS tapes and DVDs with out labels or names. The movie itself has no credits, just movie. It looks precisely like it was taken out of a camera and just handed to you. No editing outside of incamera cutting. It looks real. So real in fact it made its way into the hands of the FBI. And wouldn’t ya know it, they came a knocking on the film makers doors and told them that they had to prove the people in the movie were still alive. This is when it was released on DVD with the wicked special features and documentaries. I own my proud signed-by-the-entire-cast “Snuff edition” copy and it is displayed in my living room now. You will never forget that amazing hammer to the head scene.
If you can find it, I suggest only the hardcore of the hardcore horror fans watching it. It’s gore-ific.
#31 has finally came! 31 day of 31 films. I hope you’ve found at least one new love amongst them.
Murder Party - 2007
While the poster leaves something to be desired, it speaks volumes for the aesthetics of the film.
“It’s the breakfast club with chainsaws and hard drugs.”
—Jeremy Saulnier
Christopher, a lonely and plain man, finds an invitation to a Halloween costume party on the street. He attends the party to discover it is actually a trap set by a group of deranged art students. They intend to commit a murder as a piece of artwork to impress their wealthy and sinister patron, who arrives late to the Murder Party and is searching for students to award grant money to. Drugs and alcohol fuel the group as the situation spirals out of their control and Christopher tries to make it home from the Murder Party alive.
While it looks corny because it’s shot on video and the acting will probably turn most people away, the movie really isn’t half bad. I was highly entertained to be sure. It’s creative, thought provoking and most of all, down right fun. At least you can be the talk of the water cooler with a movie that doesn’t involve a hockey mask, bladed glove or a William Shater-painted white mask this November 2nd like all the other pleebs.
Fun Fact:
Christopher Sharp was cast in the lead role not knowing if he could act, so Saulnier figured it would be easier to have his character gagged through the entire film.
#30 as going to be saved for tomorrow, but isn’t that on everyone’s list as #31?
Halloween - 1978
The night HE came home. While many think that this was the first slasher film, they are partially right. It wasn’t the first slasher, but it was the first that made the slasher genre big business by becoming a box office and cult smash hit. John Carpenter and his Casio keyboard’s 3-note music score made the epic horror film in Halloween and creating the legend of Michael Myers.
This was to be the first of the series of movies in the Halloween series and still the best one (which is how it usually is in the series films). While Nightmare got cornier and sillier, and 13th got farther and farther from the point, Halloween just became fucking confusing. I liked how they brought in the idea of a cult called the Thorn later in the series, but it just was never developed enough.
But yeah, nothing beats an intro where a kids dons a clown mask and stabs his family and we see it all through his eyes.
WARNING - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO WATCH THE REMAKES. They will rot your brain.
Fun Fact:
The stalker/slasher was never referred to as Michael Myers in the credits, it was merely named The Shape.
When Halloween was released on television there was a lot of the movie cut out due to the graphic nature. Carpenter shot additional footage and found deleted scenes to add more story for the TV version. This cut is actually pretty decent and one that all Halloween fans cherish in their collection.
There is a copy floating around of a producer’s cut of Halloween 6- Curse of Michael Myers, called Halloween 666. It adds almost 30-40 minutes of additional footage that makes the film understandable and much more watchable than the theatrical version.
#29 seems pretty harmless but let’s just take a deeper look…
May - 2002
Now, truth be told, the trailer didn’t really do anything for me when I first saw this movie. The fact that I had a huge crush on Anna Faris was enough for me to pick up the DVD. And when watching the movie, my crush only amplified because she plays a sex fiend in the role and that was more than enough for this pervert.
However… it wasn’t Faris that carried the film. The titled character, May, was the driving force behind the intrigue to continue watching the ongoing macabre. The plot revolves around an awkward, lonely young woman named May Dove Kennedy (Bettis). She had a troubled childhood due to her lazy eye which caused her to feel abnormal and out of place. May’s mother takes her to an eye doctor, who suggests that May wear an eye patch to correct her vision. Unfortunately, this only encourages the other children to make fun of her, most notably on their first day of school, when one of her fellow students asks her if she is a pirate. She has very few social interactions with people throughout her life with her only “true friend” being a glass-encased doll named Suzy made by her mother and given to May for her birthday. After presenting her with the gift, her mother tells her, “If you can’t find a friend, make one.”
The story continues with her as an adult and…for lack of better writing, makes new friends. Strange, compelling, and twisted as hell, May brings out the artist in all of us… or perhaps the art itself.
#28 is a mind bender to be sure. Something that will stay under your skin for a long, long time.
Audition - 1999
As the film starts up you start to ask yourself why you keep watching it since it doesn’t really seem to be going anywh… CRACK!! Ok… now you’re interested. What the fuck was that thing in the bag? Oh god! Who is she? Oh fuck….
The 1999 Japanese film by Takashi Miike (the super god of modern J-horror) is a film about a windower who has lost his wife 7 years prior to illness and prompted by his teenage son to start dating again and egged on by his film producer best friend, Aoyama decided to have an audition for a new wife. Little does he know the girl of his dreams (sigh…I’m sorry for this next statement but it fits so right and it’s so fucking corny I gag writing it) just might be something of his nightmares.
#27 has always been a close personal favorite of the 31 films.
Dead Alive (Brain Dead) - 1992
Early Peter Jackson movie, way before he danced with the Rings that bind them. And in my opinion, and as much as I love the Lord of the Rings movies (and dying for the release date of the Blu Rays) I love his early work so much more. Dead Alive is a comedy/horror and forever was dubbed the goriest film ever made. I guess walking through a crowded living room of people with a lawnmower facing them can do that.
After being bit by a Rat Monkey, the main character’s mom starts to deteriorate into a walking dead state. She becomes hungry for flesh. And bites people. Oh let the madness begin!!
One of the best lines in any movie ever:
Fun Fact:
The film was released in a number of different versions.
* In some nations, such as Australia and the United Kingdom, the 104 minute film was shown in full.
* In countries where the censors balked at the extreme gore, the film was initially banned or left unrated before being heavily cut. In Germany a 94 minute version was seen with major cuts to some of the film’s grislier scenes, but was widely ignored. A FSK 16 rated version was released in Germany under the American title “Dead Alive”, omitting almost the entirety of the violence. The uncut version is banned in Germany, though it is still widely available, also under the American title “Dead Alive”.
* In the United States, where the film was released as Dead Alive (because of another film with rights to the title Braindead), the R-Rated version is only 85 minutes, while the unrated cut is 97 minutes. Worth noting is that the 97 minute version is Peter Jackson’s preferred version, as he was given the opportunity to “apply some additional spit and polish” to it.
I don’t know. This doesn’t have an ounce of the charm the first one had. The dialogue is fucking weak as shit, the acting is far below B Movie grade, and the timing just feels like a cheesy comic book or CSI-knock off show. If this is really how the movie is, I have absolutely no interest in seeing this…
Forget your chainsaws, your machettes, your butcher knives, your bladed gloves, and even your Scanner-like head ’splodings. There is nothing scarier than a shiney, metal flying sphere that holds more drills and razors in it than a demented dentist, and it’s zooming at your face at 100 miles and hour!
The film was directed, written, photographed, co-produced and edited by Don Coscarelli, which is usually unheard of, but makes sense when you hear that the film was started in 1977 and released in 1979. Phantasm was a creepy scifi/horror that starred a local news man as the villian, The Tall Man (who was portrayed in the film and its sequels by Angus Scrimm), a supernatural and sadistic undertaker who turns the dead into dwarf zombies to do his bidding and take over the world.
Fun Facts:
There is a blantant reference to Frank Herbert’s “Dune” book. There is a bar named Dune. One of the scenes is a near word for word copy from Dune, with “fear is the killer” rather than “fear is the mind killer”.
#25 is more of a plead for originals over the American remakes.
Ring - 1998 / Pulse (Kairo) - 2001
These are two films that freaked me right the fuck out of my shoes when I first watched them. I remember watching Ring (and just for clarification it is spelled Ring, not Ringu (the only reason they changed the phonetic pronunciation is to keep idiots from renting the original as opposed to the remake)) in the middle of the day on a VHS my friend Jeff made for me waaaaay before it was remade into the movie everyone has seen. Middle of the day. Not that scary of a time to be freaked out. When the little girl crawled out of the well and the camera never cut away from her, I felt myself pushing back in my couch and not wanting to see what came next. I was poopy pants scared.
When the movie was remade, I’ll give it that it makes more sense in the American, but there is little to be scared about. Specially in the crawling out of the TV part. The American cuts too much during this scene and it makes it far less scary and more aggravating to watch.
The other movie, Pulse, is a slow paced ghost story that creeps your soul out. There is one scene that is just scary as all hell when a ghost SLOOOOOOOWLY walks toward the camera and trips a little and it makes it looks so unnatural and bizarre you can’t help but push yourself farther away. The American remake is much faster in story and scary scenes ultimately destroying the entire point of the building fear.
Fun Facts:
There are two sequels to the Ring shot in Japan: Rasen (also from 1998, aka Spiral) and Ring 2 (from 1999, and which was not based on Suzuki’s works), as well as a prequel, Ring 0: Birthday (2000). There was also a Korean remake (called Ring in Korea and The Ring Virus abroad). A video game, known as The Ring: Terror’s Realm in the U.S., was also released in 2000 for the Dreamcast. Plus a one-season TV show that in my opinion was…veeerry bad.
#25, still one of the scariest things I have ever seen. Besides my credit card bill.
The Exorcist - 1973
I saw this when I was a kid, mainly because the reason we all watch scary movies: someone said it freaked them out and that we, the kid, were not allowed to watch it until we were older. My mom was really strict about that. But I had an ongoing obsession with waking up late at night, creeping downstairs, and watching some blood-curdling movies. Most I would smile and laugh at and go back to bed happy that I thought I had tricked my parents and done something, at that point in my life, illegal in my house. Little did I know how parents really work. They know everything. Everything. But I digress…
After watching this, I went to bed and could not sleep. I was terrified. I was lividly upset. Years later, when the director’s cut came out, I jumped all over it, and was so happy that it was still just as scary. Seeing the girl walk down the stairs on her hands and feet, in reverse body-like crab fashion still makes my skin crawl. And my old co-worker can’t look at that scary devil face without pissing himself.
