JUNKFILM

As you might now, the Terminator franchise, title, names, and story are up for sale. Joss “How-Can-Buffy-Survive-That-Many-Seasons-And-FireFly-Get-Canned-After-12-Episodes” Whedon has written up an open letter to the sellers. Here is that letter:

An Open Letter to the Terminator Owners. From a Very Important Hollywood Mogul

Dear Sirs/Ma’ams,

I am Joss Whedon, the mastermind behind Titan A.E., Parenthood (not the movie) (or the new series) (or the one where ‘hood’ was capitalized ’cause it was a pun), and myriad other legendary tales. I have heard through the ‘grapevine’ that the Terminator franchise is for sale, and I am prepared to make a pre-emptive bid RIGHT NOW to wrap this dealio up. This is not a joke, this is not a scam, this is not available on TV. I will write a check TODAY for $10,000, and viola! Terminator off your hands.

No, you didn’t miscount. That’s four — FOUR! — zeroes after that one. That’s to show you I mean business. And I mean show business. Nikki Finke says the Terminator concept is played. Well, here’s what I have to say to Nikki Finke: you are a fine journalist and please don’t ever notice me. The Terminator story is as formative and important in our culture — and my pretend play — as any I can think of. It’s far from over. And before you Terminator-Owners (I have trouble remembering names) rush to cash that sweet cheque, let me give you a taste of what I could do with that franchise:

1) Terminator… of the Rings! Yeah, what if he time-travelled TOO far… back to when there was dragons and wizards? (I think it was the Dark Ages.) Hasta La Vista, Boramir! Cool, huh? “Now you gonna be Gandalf the Red!” RRRRIP! But then he totally helps, because he’s a cyborg and he doesn’t give a s#&% about the ring — it has no power over him! And he can carry it AND Frodo AND Sam AND f@%& up some orcs while he’s doing it. This stuff just comes to me. I mean it. (I will also offer $10,000 for the Lord of the Rings franchise).

2) More Glau. Hey. There’s a reason they’re called “Summer” movies.

3) Can you say… musical? Well don’t. Even I know that’s an awful idea.

4) Christian Bale’s John Connor will get a throat lozenge. This will also help his Batwork (ten grand for that franchise too, btw.)

5) More porn. John Connor never told Kyle Reese this, but his main objective in going to the past was to get some. What if there’s a lot of future-babies that have to be made? Cue wah-wah pedal guitar — and dollar signs!

6) The movies will stop getting less cool.

Okay. There’s more — this brain don’t quit! (though it has occasionally been fired) — but I think you get my drift. I really believe the Terminator franchise has only begun to plumb the depths of questioning the human condition during awesome stunts, and I’d like to shepherd it through the next phase. The money is there, but more importantly, the heart is there. But more importantly, money. Think about it. End this bloody bidding war before it begins, and put the Terminator in the hands of someone who watched the first one more than any other movie in college, including “Song of Norway” (no current franchise offer). Sincerely, Joss Whedon.

Is it me, or do you just get bored half way through?

One of my absolute favorite books in the world is a comic book from Image Comics called The Walking Dead. If you have yet to start on this monster of story telling, you have been missing out. Why is it so damn good? Well, for starters, it’s not your average run of the mill zombie eat everything in site kinda story. The story focuses on the evolution of the people left alive and how they change, stay the same and how they clutch on to their humanity in a world gone to hell. In short, it’s fucking amazing and the 2nd best zombie story I have ever seen (next to World War Z).

Finally, it would seem that Hollywood is taking notice of the books that truly deserve to be adapted (other than GI Joe and tripe that litters our theaters). Frank Darabont, director of the “Green Mile,” “Shawshank Redemption” and “The Mist” has fallen for the zombie lore, and truly, who better to have behind the wheel of this story? He has pitched the story to AMC and dibs are being sunken into. AMC’s senior vp of programing Joel Stillverman says that the tv show will stay faithful to the graphic novels.

“This is not about zombies popping out of closets,” Stillerman told Variety. “This is a story about survival, and the dynamics of what happens when a group is forced to survive under these circumstances. The world is portrayed in a smart, sophisticated way.”

Let’s hope so.

If you have yet to read this bad boy, do yourself a favor and pick up the first book today.

2 Reamkes That Make Us Cringe!

If you have yet to read that Steven Spielberg and Will Smith are trying to remake one of the best films of 2003, Chan-wook Park’s masterfully executed Old Boy, then you just don’t read this page as much as you should. It would seem that Spielberg is pushing full steam on this project and even going to court over the legality of it.

While we shutter to think of Will “Give Me My God Damn Paycheck” Smith playing the lead, it has leaked that they will not be so-much remaking the film but rather the manga the film was based on.

We still think this is a bad idea on multiple levels… However, not as bad as this…
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Let the Right One In American Remake… WTF!?

Aside from The Wrestler, Benjamin Button, and Martyrs, Let The Right One In was easily in my top favorites of last year’s films and was sent rocketing up to my #1 position for favorite vampire films ever.It’s creepy, it’s paced beautifully, and it’s a story that will haunt your very core.

So why the fuck is an American company remaking it? The only info I could find quickly was that Avy Kaufman is doing the Cast Director, so finding a pair of 12-year old kids might actually turn out well, and that Matt Reeves is directing. Reeves is known for his writing (if one can call it that) for Under Siege 2, and his directing (again….) for Cloverfield.

I am sitting in a pool of my own fear that people will think that this is an original film or worse, like the American version of the Ring, better than it’s predecessor.
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Tranformers 2 Makes a Shitload of Money

Who the fuck cares?
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T3: Deleted SCene…

If you’re like any sane-thinking human being you never even thought about purchasing Terminator 3 on DVD. But it turns out there is a cut scene on the disc. It explains why the terminators all look like Arnold….Oh giant mecha-fighting hopping ghost Christ… This is bad…

FINALLY!! After years and years in post-production hell, 5-25-77 will be released!!! Only the title has been shortened to ‘77. Long before Fanboys was ever even announced as a movie, ‘77 was already being shot. Shit, I even remember when they were looking for extras and I tried to go out to meet the crew but got lost and wound up missing them.

If Fanboys was the American Pie of geek films, this is the Almost Famous. It has so much heart and power behind it that I was almost in tears watching the trailer.

So without further ado, Junk Film would like to present you with, the ‘77 trailer.

Remake Madness

Disney is set to ruin all of our childhoods by destroying yet another favorite from our pasts. The Parent Trap, that other movie where Lindsey switches places with the chick from Halloween. Shaggy Dog, (all of these up til now I could care less about), but then there was Race To Witch Mountain and now…. I hate you so much Disney, Flight of the Navigator. What next? Are you going to remake Black Cauldron?

and….

Buffy the Vampire Slayer is going to be remade… without Joss Wheadon. Ok, collect yourselves and breathe. Slash Film reports that “The characters and canon created in the television series will be completely abandoned.” Said it ain’t so, Spike!
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Katee Sackhoff as Typhoid Mary is one of 2 Marvel movies…

If you’re a fan of Marvel books, you know Typhoid Mary, he presence is very hard to forget. Now, just which film is she going to be in, news says she is up for a possible of two movies: the reboot of Daredevil or, my man, Deadpool.

LA comic shop, Golden Apple, says:
“So we got a little visit in our comic shop last week by Katee Sackhoff, also known as Starbuck for her role on BSG. She proceeded to grab all the Typhoid Mary comics we had and has hopes to get a part for a Marvel movie….”
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Sam Raimi hints at new villain

Raimi has hinted on Fearnet that he is very interested in vampires and the mythology behind them. While no clear announcements have been made for the villains for Spider-Man 4, with the backstory of Dr Connors (The Lizard) already being established in Spider-Man 2 & 3, bringing in Morbius would coincide with the books to a T. Let’s cross our fingers.
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Fan-made trailer for Green Lantern

Jaron Pitts has created a trailer for a Green Lantern movie starring Nathan Fillion as Hal Jordon.

Clips were apparently combined from the following film and television sources:

Planet of the Apes
Serenity Trailer
Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Stardust Trailer
The Lord of the Rings - The Fellowship of the Ring
Firefly
Dragonball Evolution Trailer
Galaxy Quest
The Fountain Trailer
Superman Returns Trailer
The Day the Earth Stood Still
Smallville
Justice League TAS
GI Joe Trailer
Contact
Star Trek Enterprise
Star Wars Episode III
The Mutant Chronicles Trailer
Iron Man
Star Trek Trailer
Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe Cutscene
The Chronicles of Riddick
Kamen Rider
Bedtime Stories
Escape
from Witch Mountain Trailer
The Matrix Revolutions
The Chronicles of Narnia - Prince Caspian
White Noise 2

There comes a time in all our lives that we see a movie poster and can instantly know if we want to see that movie or not. There comes a time… a time so definite that a certain movie poster will elude all logic and just draw you in with a “What the fuck is that???” face.

This, my friends, is one of those times.

Jeffrey Lau’s forthcoming scifi romantic comedy, Metallic Attraction: Kung Fu Cyborg. It has everything - even hopping vampires!

A still shot of Chow Yun-Fat playing the great ancient philosopher in the upcoming biopic Confucius.
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Pirahna 2 Casting.

Christopher Lloyd has joined the cast of Piranha 3D. Directed by Alex Aja, this is a travesty waiting to happen.
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Lohan is back, baby!

It would seem that someone gave Lindsay Lohan another job. She is set to star in the indie fantasy comedy The Other Side alongside Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi, Dave Matthews and Alanis Morissette.
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Cigarette Break for Panda Co-Director

Kung Fu Panda co-director John Stevenson is set to helm a feature adaptation of Steven Sherrill’s 2000 novel The Minotaur Takes a Cigarette Break for the Gotham Group.
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Lucas Lashes out at Star Trek!!!

This week George Lucas was interviewed about his feelings on the new Star Trek movie. Here is his brutal, verbal lashing: “I liked Star Trek growing up and I’ve seen the new one. It’s good. I liked it.”

Take that J.J.!
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Gilliam Returns to Fighting the Windmills

(taken from Slashfilm)
Over the years, Gilliam has made numerous attempts to bring the story to the big screen, and all of them have failed. His last attempt, which was doomed from the start, starred Johnny Depp, Vanessa Paradis and Jean Rochefort. The production was plagued with sound problems, injuries
, and even a flash flood. Production was shut down after a month, and the project shelved. But nine years later, Gilliam is ready to get lost in La Mancha all over again.

The filmmaker
regained rights to the project earlier this year and Gilliam has reteamed with Tony Grisoni to update the screenplay. According to Variety, the new film will “revolve around a filmmaker” instead of an ad executive, who finds himself unstuck in time, unwittingly travels to 17th century La Mancha, where he participates in the adventures of Don Quixote, who mistakes him for Sancho Panza.

Johnny Depp is in talks to rejoin the film, but the actor doesn’t have many openings and Gilliam wants to begin production next Spring. Depp would play the filmmaker character. The main role of Don Quixote has not yet been cast. I look forward to anything Gilliam, but this is the one film I won’t believe exists until I see it on the big screen for myself. Lets hope it happens.
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Expendables Poster

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And today’s Awesomeness personified…there are two!

First.
This Star Wars AT-AT….is a freaking CAKE!!! Know what I want for my birthday, now.

and

Second.
(From Slashfilm) “Australian character animator Luke Randall’s 4-minute animated short film Reach is about a tiny robot who is given the gift of life with only one limitation, the length of his power cable. When a curious bird appears at the workshop window, his lust to live outside of his reach, may be his demise.

It was produced over a period of 8 months in the after work hours using Maya, Photoshop and After Effects. The short has already won a bunch of awards on the festival circuit, but the film is currently a finalist in the Cannes Short Film Corner competition and is looking for your vote.”

We did it! We hardcore DeadPool fans have something to look forward to other than 2 minutes of screen time in Wolverine!

The spin-off solo film of DeadPool is a go! 20th Century Fox has officially announced that they are full steam ahead on my favorite Marvel character’s own film. Lauren Shuler Donner, the producer who has been 100% behind the idea for years now, is producing along side Marvel Entertainment.

With the giant dump on DeadPool in the Wolverine film, where we see DeadPool changed into Weapon XI and totally derive from any cool factor he could have been, it is unsure in the comics/film community where they will take this script; as of now no scribe is attached. There are whispers being spoken of a possible prequel, but that wouldn’t make sense, specially seeing how the easter egg at the end of the credits suggests that Wade Wilson is now deformed (instead of cancer?) and has to wear the mask and body suit now.

DP’s constant breaking of the 4th wall and self awareness that hs is inside of a comic book should be fun to see on the screen since Ryan Reynolds is so charismatic and should be able to pull of the quirkiness in his own solo role. When he was Wade on the plane at the beginning of Wolverine he played Wilson to a T.

Reynolds has described the character as “a cross between Commando and Phantom of the Opera, by way of Caddyshack,” a wise-cracking mercenary with a tendency to break the fourth wall. Reynolds recently told MTV that a Deadpool movie would need to be a closer adaptation of the comic book, so that sets up the expectations. But as for now……