JUNKFILM

If you have had the pleasure, or in my case, absolute horror, to see the Direct TV ad where they reincarnated Chris Farley in his comedic legendary role of Tommy Boy then the video at the bottom will be hilarious and well designed. If you haven’t had the displeasure yet, check this out:

Now that your day is thoroughly ruined, here are three movie movie icons that have been brought back.

Its been a loooong time coming.  I have, as I am sure you have as well, been reading A LOT about this movie. They have been letting as little as possible of info out as they can and still keep us really engaged. Finally, it looks like there is not only a release date for the long-time-in-the-making film, but now there is a trailer. Unfortunately, Yahoo doesn’t allow embedding, so follow this link to Yahoo to watch the trailer in HD.

#31 has finally came! 31 day of 31 films. I hope you’ve found at least one new love amongst them.

Murder Party - 2007

While the poster leaves something to be desired, it speaks volumes for the aesthetics of the film.

“It’s the breakfast club with chainsaws and hard drugs.”
—Jeremy Saulnier

Christopher, a lonely and plain man, finds an invitation to a Halloween costume party on the street. He attends the party to discover it is actually a trap set by a group of deranged art students. They intend to commit a murder as a piece of artwork to impress their wealthy and sinister patron, who arrives late to the Murder Party and is searching for students to award grant money to. Drugs and alcohol fuel the group as the situation spirals out of their control and Christopher tries to make it home from the Murder Party alive.

While it looks corny because it’s shot on video and the acting will probably turn most people away, the movie really isn’t half bad. I was highly entertained to be sure. It’s creative, thought provoking and most of all, down right fun. At least you can be the talk of the water cooler with a movie that doesn’t involve a hockey mask, bladed glove or a William Shater-painted white mask this November 2nd like all the other pleebs.

Fun Fact:

Christopher Sharp was cast in the lead role not knowing if he could act, so Saulnier figured it would be easier to have his character gagged through the entire film.

#29 seems pretty harmless but let’s just take a deeper look…

May - 2002

Now, truth be told, the trailer didn’t really do anything for me when I first saw this movie. The fact that I had a huge crush on Anna Faris was enough for me to pick up the DVD. And when watching the movie, my crush only amplified because she plays a sex fiend in the role and that was more than enough for this pervert.

However… it wasn’t Faris that carried the film. The titled character, May, was the driving force behind the intrigue to continue watching the ongoing macabre. The plot revolves around an awkward, lonely young woman named May Dove Kennedy (Bettis). She had a troubled childhood due to her lazy eye which caused her to feel abnormal and out of place. May’s mother takes her to an eye doctor, who suggests that May wear an eye patch to correct her vision. Unfortunately, this only encourages the other children to make fun of her, most notably on their first day of school, when one of her fellow students asks her if she is a pirate. She has very few social interactions with people throughout her life with her only “true friend” being a glass-encased doll named Suzy made by her mother and given to May for her birthday. After presenting her with the gift, her mother tells her, “If you can’t find a friend, make one.”

The story continues with her as an adult and…for lack of better writing, makes new friends. Strange, compelling, and twisted as hell, May brings out the artist in all of us… or perhaps the art itself.

#28 is a mind bender to be sure. Something that will stay under your skin for a long, long time.

Audition - 1999

As the film starts up you start to ask yourself why you keep watching it since it doesn’t really seem to be going anywh… CRACK!! Ok… now you’re interested. What the fuck was that thing in the bag? Oh god! Who is she? Oh fuck….

The 1999 Japanese film by Takashi Miike (the super god of modern J-horror) is a film about a windower who has lost his wife 7 years prior to illness and prompted by his teenage son to start dating again and egged on by his film producer best friend, Aoyama decided to have an audition for a new wife. Little does he know the girl of his dreams (sigh…I’m sorry for this next statement but it fits so right and it’s so fucking corny I gag writing it) just might be something of his nightmares.

Kee ree ree ree ree ree ree.

I don’t know. This doesn’t have an ounce of the charm the first one had. The dialogue is fucking weak as shit, the acting is far below B Movie grade, and the timing just feels like a cheesy comic book or CSI-knock off show. If this is really how the movie is, I have absolutely no interest in seeing this…

#26 was a successful merging of scifi and horror.

Phantasm - 1979

Forget your chainsaws, your machettes, your butcher knives, your bladed gloves, and even your Scanner-like head ’splodings. There is nothing scarier than a shiney, metal flying sphere that holds more drills and razors in it than a demented dentist, and it’s zooming at your face at 100 miles and hour!

The film was directed, written, photographed, co-produced and edited by Don Coscarelli, which is usually unheard of, but makes sense when you hear that the film was started in 1977 and released in 1979. Phantasm was a creepy scifi/horror that starred a local news man as the villian, The Tall Man (who was portrayed in the film and its sequels by Angus Scrimm), a supernatural and sadistic undertaker who turns the dead into dwarf zombies to do his bidding and take over the world.

Fun Facts:
There is a blantant reference to Frank Herbert’s “Dune” book. There is a bar named Dune. One of the scenes is a near word for word copy from Dune, with “fear is the killer” rather than “fear is the mind killer”.

#25 is more of a plead for originals over the American remakes.

Ring - 1998 / Pulse (Kairo) - 2001

These are two films that freaked me right the fuck out of my shoes when I first watched them. I remember watching Ring (and just for clarification it is spelled Ring, not Ringu (the only reason they changed the phonetic pronunciation is to keep idiots from renting the original as opposed to the remake)) in the middle of the day on a VHS my friend Jeff made for me waaaaay before it was remade into the movie everyone has seen. Middle of the day. Not that scary of a time to be freaked out. When the little girl crawled out of the well and the camera never cut away from her, I felt myself pushing back in my couch and not wanting to see what came next. I was poopy pants scared.

When the movie was remade, I’ll give it that it makes more sense in the American, but there is little to be scared about. Specially in the crawling out of the TV part. The American cuts too much during this scene and it makes it far less scary and more aggravating to watch.

The other movie, Pulse, is a slow paced ghost story that creeps your soul out. There is one scene that is just scary as all hell when a ghost SLOOOOOOOWLY walks toward the camera and trips a little and it makes it looks so unnatural and bizarre you can’t help but push yourself farther away. The American remake is much faster in story and scary scenes ultimately destroying the entire point of the building fear.

Fun Facts:
There are two sequels to the Ring shot in Japan: Rasen (also from 1998, aka Spiral) and Ring 2 (from 1999, and which was not based on Suzuki’s works), as well as a prequel, Ring 0: Birthday (2000). There was also a Korean remake (called Ring in Korea and The Ring Virus abroad). A video game, known as The Ring: Terror’s Realm in the U.S., was also released in 2000 for the Dreamcast. Plus a one-season TV show that in my opinion was…veeerry bad.

#25, still one of the scariest things I have ever seen. Besides my credit card bill.

The Exorcist - 1973

I saw this when I was a kid, mainly because the reason we all watch scary movies: someone said it freaked them out and that we, the kid, were not allowed to watch it until we were older. My mom was really strict about that. But I had an ongoing obsession with waking up late at night, creeping downstairs, and watching some blood-curdling movies. Most I would smile and laugh at and go back to bed happy that I thought I had tricked my parents and done something, at that point in my life, illegal in my house. Little did I know how parents really work. They know everything. Everything. But I digress…

After watching this, I went to bed and could not sleep. I was terrified. I was lividly upset. Years later, when the director’s cut came out, I jumped all over it, and was so happy that it was still just as scary. Seeing the girl walk down the stairs on her hands and feet, in reverse body-like crab fashion still makes my skin crawl. And my old co-worker can’t look at that scary devil face without pissing himself.

#23 is no less a scary movie as it is a good film. This is pretty rare in the horror world.

Psycho - 1960

Just one of Alfred Hitchcock’s masterpiece cinema. It was a toss up for me to put this or the Birds on the 31 Days list, but I think Psycho is a much better film, as well as a scary flick to boot. Loosing based on the life og Wisconsin legend, Ed Gein (same guy that The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is based off of), the movie revolves around a woman in a motel, hiding from her boss because she in embezzling money from him, and the motel owner/operator, Norman Bates.

Bates made this movie exceedingly creepy as he is the perfect onscreen example of mental collapsing and sacrifice. Not to mention that one of the most famous scenes in film history is in this flick.

It took me a long time to get around to watching this movie. I think the fact that it was older kind of turned me off. But once I watched it… man, it blew me away how good it was. Just the cine-theory in each scene is breath-taking.

Fun Facts:
The film spawned two sequels, a prequel, a remake, and an unsuccessful television spin-off.

Since the film was shot like most films of this era in Black & White, using a red substitute for blood was kind of useless. But to keep the consistancy of blood, chocolate syrup was used instead. This became a fad in Hollywodd B&W films. Later on a film was made called Not Just For IceCream Anymore, which is a direct reference to the usage of Chocolate Syrup in horror films.