JUNKFILM

“‘New Moon’ midnight showings earn record $26.3 million” - says USA Today.

The Twilight Saga: New Moon has set a box-office record for midnight screenings.

Summit Entertainment estimated Friday that it earned $26.3 million after opening early in the morning.

What the hell is wrong with our country?? Now, I know, I have friends that enjoy these movies, and I by no means am trying to spit on your tastes, it’s just that when a truly wonderful film debuts, the tickets sold are minuscule in comparison to tween dreck. Ah well…

The Shining - 1980
“He-e-e-e-re’s Johnny!” - Jack Torrance

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Real Genius - 1985
“I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates who said, ‘I drank what’” - Chris Knight

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Casablanca - 1942
“We’ll always have Paris” - Rick Blaine

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And since Rick is so good at gobbing….
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Casablanca - 1942
“Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine” - Rick Blaine

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All About Eve - 1950
“Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy ride” - Margo Channing

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More tomorrow…

What is most memorable about movies? Yes, the pretty faces that grace the screen are quite memorable. Yes, those damn nifty ’splosions that litter the effects are pretty cool too, I guess. And yes, the cool lighting is most memorable, indeed. However, there is nothing more memorable about our favorite movies than the lines our favorite characters spit out like it’s their normal, everyday dialogue. Here are some that, to me, are most memorable.

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Every Day’s a Holiday - 1937
“You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini.” - Larmadou Graves

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Gone With the Wind - 1939
“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn” - Rhett Butler

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The Godfather - 1972
“I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse” - Michael Corleone

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And while we’re discussing Michael Corleone…
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The Godfather: Part 2 - 1974
“Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer” - Michael Corleone

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More tomorrow…

While it didn’t make the 31 movies, it isn’t because it’s not one of my more favorite scary movies, but it’s because you, the reader, might have trouble tracking it down, and the entire reason of writing this 31 days thing was to offer you other choices at the rental houses.

August Underground - 2001 and Mordum - 2003

The plot for the movie is pretty easy to follow: Two serial killers go on a murdering rampage as one films the outcome from behind a video camera. One of the most realistically portrayed simulated snuff films.

I had read about this movie on some forums online claiming it was the “most disgusting movie ever made” and simply had to check it out. 9 times out of 10 when an accusation like that is made the movie turns out to be fucking dull and weak. This time, I found myself not being able to watch the entire movie in one sitting. There is some pretty nasty stuff here. Not to mention the over the top sequel, Mordum. Yes, these movies have their faults. Yes, you can hear the blood capsule breaking when they slit throats, but step back, take a look at it from an outside film-fan view and you will see something truly memorable.

When the first film was released it was released on VHS tapes and DVDs with out labels or names. The movie itself has no credits, just movie. It looks precisely like it was taken out of a camera and just handed to you. No editing outside of incamera cutting. It looks real. So real in fact it made its way into the hands of the FBI. And wouldn’t ya know it, they came a knocking on the film makers doors and told them that they had to prove the people in the movie were still alive. This is when it was released on DVD with the wicked special features and documentaries. I own my proud signed-by-the-entire-cast “Snuff edition” copy and it is displayed in my living room now. You will never forget that amazing hammer to the head scene.

If you can find it, I suggest only the hardcore of the hardcore horror fans watching it. It’s gore-ific.

#30 as going to be saved for tomorrow, but isn’t that on everyone’s list as #31?

Halloween - 1978

The night HE came home. While many think that this was the first slasher film, they are partially right. It wasn’t the first slasher, but it was the first that made the slasher genre big business by becoming a box office and cult smash hit. John Carpenter and his Casio keyboard’s 3-note music score made the epic horror film in Halloween and creating the legend of Michael Myers.

This was to be the first of the series of movies in the Halloween series and still the best one (which is how it usually is in the series films). While Nightmare got cornier and sillier, and 13th got farther and farther from the point, Halloween just became fucking confusing. I liked how they brought in the idea of a cult called the Thorn later in the series, but it just was never developed enough.

But yeah, nothing beats an intro where a kids dons a clown mask and stabs his family and we see it all through his eyes.

WARNING - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO WATCH THE REMAKES. They will rot your brain.

Fun Fact:
The stalker/slasher was never referred to as Michael Myers in the credits, it was merely named The Shape.

When Halloween was released on television there was a lot of the movie cut out due to the graphic nature. Carpenter shot additional footage and found deleted scenes to add more story for the TV version. This cut is actually pretty decent and one that all Halloween fans cherish in their collection.

There is a copy floating around of a producer’s cut of Halloween 6- Curse of Michael Myers, called Halloween 666. It adds almost 30-40 minutes of additional footage that makes the film understandable and much more watchable than the theatrical version.

#27 has always been a close personal favorite of the 31 films.

Dead Alive (Brain Dead) - 1992

Early Peter Jackson movie, way before he danced with the Rings that bind them. And in my opinion, and as much as I love the Lord of the Rings movies (and dying for the release date of the Blu Rays) I love his early work so much more. Dead Alive is a comedy/horror and forever was dubbed the goriest film ever made. I guess walking through a crowded living room of people with a lawnmower facing them can do that.

After being bit by a Rat Monkey, the main character’s mom starts to deteriorate into a walking dead state. She becomes hungry for flesh. And bites people. Oh let the madness begin!!

One of the best lines in any movie ever:

Fun Fact:
The film was released in a number of different versions.

* In some nations, such as Australia and the United Kingdom, the 104 minute film was shown in full.
* In countries where the censors balked at the extreme gore, the film was initially banned or left unrated before being heavily cut. In Germany a 94 minute version was seen with major cuts to some of the film’s grislier scenes, but was widely ignored. A FSK 16 rated version was released in Germany under the American title “Dead Alive”, omitting almost the entirety of the violence. The uncut version is banned in Germany, though it is still widely available, also under the American title “Dead Alive”.
* In the United States, where the film was released as Dead Alive (because of another film with rights to the title Braindead), the R-Rated version is only 85 minutes, while the unrated cut is 97 minutes. Worth noting is that the 97 minute version is Peter Jackson’s preferred version, as he was given the opportunity to “apply some additional spit and polish” to it.

#21 is as close as you can get to the real genre while still keeping it outide.

28 Days Later - 2002

Danny Boyle came from some truly great films, and when he decided to direct this little bad boy, well, it caught my attention faster than Trainspotting. I had read about 28 Days Later for a few months before I got my greedy little hands on my Region 2 copy of the DVD. I got it in the mail, ran up stairs, dusted off my Region Zero player and popped the bad boy in for a night of new movie. I was in glee at a movie that woke me up and made my skin crawl. I told all my friends about it. Finally, a month later, the movie came out to US theaters. I told them all to go. It was a grand ‘ole time.

Now, just to clarify. This movie is technically a zombie film, in theme ONLY! There are NO zombies in the movie. None at all. This is in par to how the movie Alien is a ghost house movie (being trapped in a location with no means out and being hunted by something not of your species). So, just remember when you’re talking to someone about 28 Days/Weeks and soon to be Months Later, not to use the word zombie, because it makes you look ignorant.

Say what you will about the movie, #19 of the 31 films had some of the best advertising of any films ever.

Blair Witch Project - 1999

People are fucking gullible by and large. Why not play up to that fact? This is why Paranormal Activity is doing so well right now. People think it’s real. When Blair Witch was released the hand held footage and shaky cam made the film that much more beleivable, and not to mention that the actors were all new faces and all of them hid out from the media coverage for a month or two after the release.

But let’s be honest, if you thought that this movie was real footage and they released it into the theater, you are dumb as a brick in a fan, right? Perhaps not.

While there are a lot of different kinds of advertising or films or whatever, none can even come close to the advertising that was made for Blair Witch. And I do not mean the trailers or TV commercials. 6 months to a year before the film was released the film crew made a fake documentary and released it on Discovery Channel declaring that there was a movement to search out the Blair Witch and find her. By the time the movie started rolling around, people left and right were all like, “Shit, I heard about that!”

Also, and this is probably one of the smartest things they did. They put the movie on VHS tapes and distributed them around so people would see the movie a month or so before it went into theaters and people were scared out of their minds thinking they got real police confiscated footage of three kids in the forest getting themselves offed in a house before the camera falls. Don’t worry, I really didn’t ruin anything for you.

But this fear and word of mouth spreads faster than any commercial can. People talk and people listen. “I saw this movie on tape, it’s real.” People will go see it.

Alright, might as well wrap up the Zack Invasion (that’s zombies for you unaware of the marvelous book, World War Z) with #16 of the 31 movies.

Day of the Dead - 1985

Although, one of the least appreciated of the original trilogy, this is one of my favorite horror films and quite possibly my favorite zombie films ever. The movie tends to lean more in the direction of Night rather than Dawn in the dark tone and functionality of the living members. While the constant threat of Zack was overtly obvious in the first two films, Day utilizes the tension between the living people far more perfectly and with more dramatic overtones than the previous films.

Plus, it was this film that Romero instigated that zombies weren’t completely devoid of their previous memories on a subconscious level as we see Bub become easy to semi-communicate with and even wield a hand gun.

Fun Facts:
The remote location also complicated the transportation of crew members and equipment. “Zombie” extras were recruited from among the citizens of Pittsburgh, with preference given to those who had worked on previous Romero films. Extras were paid $1.00 for their services, and given a hat that read “I was a Zombie in Day of the Dead”.

Day #14 is one of my all time favorites, and one that should be on anyone’s top 31 list.

Night of the Living Dead - 1968

While George A Romero didn’t quite invent zombies, even the living dead kind, he is still the god father of the genre. His rules and marks on the zombie world has become law in most cases and ever since you can’t imagine a zombie not stumbling over others in search of live flesh to consume. This movie is still freaking scary and still plays a beautiful metaphor on society’s face at that time. A main character, a black man, who is commanding not only a white woman, but a whole house full of people (racism), the invading unknown trampling us on our own land (the red scare and vietnam), and a slew of other wonderfully interwoven concepts into modern lore.

While George went on to make 2 more wickedly perfect zombie films, that’s where he ended. Dawn and Day are amazing, stay the hell away from Land and the rest.

Fun Trivia:
The entire movie was made for $6,000 and everyone was friends. The only reason Duane Jones got the role of Ben, the main character, was because he was the best actor of the group of friends.

Night of the Living Dead lapsed into the public domain because the original theatrical distributor, the Walter Reade Organization, neglected to place a copyright indication on the prints. In 1968, United States copyright law required a proper notice for a work to maintain a copyright.[88] Image Ten displayed such a notice on the title frames of the film beneath the original title, Night of the Flesh Eaters. The distributor removed the statement when it changed the title. According to George Romero, Walter Reade “ripped us off”.

Because of the public domain status, the film is sold on home video by several distributors. As of 2006, the Internet Movie Database lists 23 copies of Night of the Living Dead retailing on DVD and nineteen on VHS. The original film is available to view or download free on Internet sites such as Google Video, Internet Archive and YouTube. As of October 2, 2008, it was the Internet Archive’s second most downloaded film, with 515,561 downloads.