JUNKFILM

#27 has always been a close personal favorite of the 31 films.

Dead Alive (Brain Dead) - 1992

Early Peter Jackson movie, way before he danced with the Rings that bind them. And in my opinion, and as much as I love the Lord of the Rings movies (and dying for the release date of the Blu Rays) I love his early work so much more. Dead Alive is a comedy/horror and forever was dubbed the goriest film ever made. I guess walking through a crowded living room of people with a lawnmower facing them can do that.

After being bit by a Rat Monkey, the main character’s mom starts to deteriorate into a walking dead state. She becomes hungry for flesh. And bites people. Oh let the madness begin!!

One of the best lines in any movie ever:

Fun Fact:
The film was released in a number of different versions.

* In some nations, such as Australia and the United Kingdom, the 104 minute film was shown in full.
* In countries where the censors balked at the extreme gore, the film was initially banned or left unrated before being heavily cut. In Germany a 94 minute version was seen with major cuts to some of the film’s grislier scenes, but was widely ignored. A FSK 16 rated version was released in Germany under the American title “Dead Alive”, omitting almost the entirety of the violence. The uncut version is banned in Germany, though it is still widely available, also under the American title “Dead Alive”.
* In the United States, where the film was released as Dead Alive (because of another film with rights to the title Braindead), the R-Rated version is only 85 minutes, while the unrated cut is 97 minutes. Worth noting is that the 97 minute version is Peter Jackson’s preferred version, as he was given the opportunity to “apply some additional spit and polish” to it.

#21 is as close as you can get to the real genre while still keeping it outide.

28 Days Later - 2002

Danny Boyle came from some truly great films, and when he decided to direct this little bad boy, well, it caught my attention faster than Trainspotting. I had read about 28 Days Later for a few months before I got my greedy little hands on my Region 2 copy of the DVD. I got it in the mail, ran up stairs, dusted off my Region Zero player and popped the bad boy in for a night of new movie. I was in glee at a movie that woke me up and made my skin crawl. I told all my friends about it. Finally, a month later, the movie came out to US theaters. I told them all to go. It was a grand ‘ole time.

Now, just to clarify. This movie is technically a zombie film, in theme ONLY! There are NO zombies in the movie. None at all. This is in par to how the movie Alien is a ghost house movie (being trapped in a location with no means out and being hunted by something not of your species). So, just remember when you’re talking to someone about 28 Days/Weeks and soon to be Months Later, not to use the word zombie, because it makes you look ignorant.

Say what you will about the movie, #19 of the 31 films had some of the best advertising of any films ever.

Blair Witch Project - 1999

People are fucking gullible by and large. Why not play up to that fact? This is why Paranormal Activity is doing so well right now. People think it’s real. When Blair Witch was released the hand held footage and shaky cam made the film that much more beleivable, and not to mention that the actors were all new faces and all of them hid out from the media coverage for a month or two after the release.

But let’s be honest, if you thought that this movie was real footage and they released it into the theater, you are dumb as a brick in a fan, right? Perhaps not.

While there are a lot of different kinds of advertising or films or whatever, none can even come close to the advertising that was made for Blair Witch. And I do not mean the trailers or TV commercials. 6 months to a year before the film was released the film crew made a fake documentary and released it on Discovery Channel declaring that there was a movement to search out the Blair Witch and find her. By the time the movie started rolling around, people left and right were all like, “Shit, I heard about that!”

Also, and this is probably one of the smartest things they did. They put the movie on VHS tapes and distributed them around so people would see the movie a month or so before it went into theaters and people were scared out of their minds thinking they got real police confiscated footage of three kids in the forest getting themselves offed in a house before the camera falls. Don’t worry, I really didn’t ruin anything for you.

But this fear and word of mouth spreads faster than any commercial can. People talk and people listen. “I saw this movie on tape, it’s real.” People will go see it.

Alright, might as well wrap up the Zack Invasion (that’s zombies for you unaware of the marvelous book, World War Z) with #16 of the 31 movies.

Day of the Dead - 1985

Although, one of the least appreciated of the original trilogy, this is one of my favorite horror films and quite possibly my favorite zombie films ever. The movie tends to lean more in the direction of Night rather than Dawn in the dark tone and functionality of the living members. While the constant threat of Zack was overtly obvious in the first two films, Day utilizes the tension between the living people far more perfectly and with more dramatic overtones than the previous films.

Plus, it was this film that Romero instigated that zombies weren’t completely devoid of their previous memories on a subconscious level as we see Bub become easy to semi-communicate with and even wield a hand gun.

Fun Facts:
The remote location also complicated the transportation of crew members and equipment. “Zombie” extras were recruited from among the citizens of Pittsburgh, with preference given to those who had worked on previous Romero films. Extras were paid $1.00 for their services, and given a hat that read “I was a Zombie in Day of the Dead”.

Day #14 is one of my all time favorites, and one that should be on anyone’s top 31 list.

Night of the Living Dead - 1968

While George A Romero didn’t quite invent zombies, even the living dead kind, he is still the god father of the genre. His rules and marks on the zombie world has become law in most cases and ever since you can’t imagine a zombie not stumbling over others in search of live flesh to consume. This movie is still freaking scary and still plays a beautiful metaphor on society’s face at that time. A main character, a black man, who is commanding not only a white woman, but a whole house full of people (racism), the invading unknown trampling us on our own land (the red scare and vietnam), and a slew of other wonderfully interwoven concepts into modern lore.

While George went on to make 2 more wickedly perfect zombie films, that’s where he ended. Dawn and Day are amazing, stay the hell away from Land and the rest.

Fun Trivia:
The entire movie was made for $6,000 and everyone was friends. The only reason Duane Jones got the role of Ben, the main character, was because he was the best actor of the group of friends.

Night of the Living Dead lapsed into the public domain because the original theatrical distributor, the Walter Reade Organization, neglected to place a copyright indication on the prints. In 1968, United States copyright law required a proper notice for a work to maintain a copyright.[88] Image Ten displayed such a notice on the title frames of the film beneath the original title, Night of the Flesh Eaters. The distributor removed the statement when it changed the title. According to George Romero, Walter Reade “ripped us off”.

Because of the public domain status, the film is sold on home video by several distributors. As of 2006, the Internet Movie Database lists 23 copies of Night of the Living Dead retailing on DVD and nineteen on VHS. The original film is available to view or download free on Internet sites such as Google Video, Internet Archive and YouTube. As of October 2, 2008, it was the Internet Archive’s second most downloaded film, with 515,561 downloads.

How more appropriate than to have this as the 13th movie of the 31?

Friday the 13th Part 2 - 1981

Hot off the heals of the new slasher craze monster, Friday the 13th, Part 2 offers more slashing fun, but this time it’s really with Jason Voorhees rather than his pissed off, revenge-seeking mother, Pamela. This installment has Jason prior to the iconic hockey mask and instead donning a potato sack with a hole cut out for his eye. Far more creepy, yet not as intimidating as the hockey mask further down the line of films (6 and 7 to be sure are my favorite costumes).

Why this one and not the one that has the Voorhees descendant that has ESP? Well, rather than the obvious reasons, this was before the series turned into more of a joke and just tried to kill of teens in new and exciting ways. In this, they were still trying to make something visceral. I liked.

Movie #9 of 31 on the list de Macabre is one that shook me to the core when I first saw it.

High Tension (Haute Tension) - 2003

This movie brought terror back to the slasher flick. While most slashers try to do the masked, knife weilding creepy stalker and not worrying about truly making a scary atmosphere, High Tension smashes those worries as the first time you see the bad guy who is getting head from some chick in his truck until he picks up the head…

Not much of a spoiler since its in the first 20 minutes of movie.

The movie coasts along and kicks the living shit out of you. Now… I have to complain about ONE thing and then I will usher you out of your house to go rent this beauty: turn off the movie about 5 minutes before the end and you won’t be confused. Lol. Here’s the deal: the end makes no sense, no matter how many times you look at it. The film makers thought they were being clever but they didn’t cover up plot holes that are the size of the fat guy in the theater pounding down hot dogs and over buttered popcorn who is just as confused as you are.

Buts till freaky as all hell!

Day 7 of 31. The movie that made people scared to go on road trips or pick up hitch hikers.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - 1974

Oh man. When I first watched this I was on the edge of my seat in horrific delight. When this movie was first shown in theaters people were throwing up in the isles and demanding their money back and they ran from the theaters crying. The movie is visceral and unrelenting. One that will stay with you for a long time.

By today’s standards, it’s not that harsh. But I was say this, while tons of people swear up and down the movie is littered with gallons of blood, I can only name 2 scenes where just a little bit of blood was used. And another cool memory that people have is that they swear they saw the hook bursting out from the girl’s chest when Bubba impales her on it, but it just isn’t there. Good film making can do this.

Fun Trivia:
During the dinner scene towards the end of the film, when Leatherface cuts the girl’s finger, he actually does cut her finger because they couldn’t get the fake blood to come out of the tube behind the blade.

Director Tobe Hooper claims to have got the idea for the film while standing in the hardware section of a crowded store. While thinking of a way to get out through the crowd, he spotted the chainsaws.

The human skeleton in the house at the end of the movie was a real human skeleton. They used a real one because a human skeleton from India is far cheaper then a fake plastic skeleton.

There comes a time when every friend must prop their friend’s material. I believe this is one (of soon to be many) of my friend’s works that I want to prop.

My friends over at Darth JayDer Comics have been in love with films for years and their love shines through in their comic book that was supposed to originally have been a movie, “Lost.”

While they have been working the Comic Con circuit for a while now, Aint It Cool News just did a review on their trade paper back and I can’t stress just how accurate it is.

LOST TPB
Darth JayDer Comics

An indie staple is the slice-of-life comic, where there’s nary a zombie or a super cape or a vampire or a time stream disruption. Some folks hate these comics and I have to admit they are an acquired taste. Personally, I read comics for the escapism. Reading about another schlub’s money/girl/life problems hit a bit too close to home, if you know what I mean. So when I realized that’s exactly what LOST was, I was half tempted not to give it a look. But I’m damn glad I did. Yes, LOST is a hit TV show that’s about to come to an end this season, but no, that’s not what this book is about. LOST is about a normal guy name Chazz, slacker extraordinaire. He’s got a dead end job, aspirations to be a writer, and no chick in his life. Now in a sci fi or super hero comic, it’s at this point in the “hero’s” life that something extraordinary occurs, usually in the form of a radioactive spider or a meteorite or a lab experiment gone horribly, horribly wrong. But this isn’t one of those stories. In actuality, something extraordinary does in fact happen…Chazz gets a girlfriend. The rest of the book pretty much goes by the old adage, “Be careful what you wish for.” Like I said, most slice of life books turn me off, but writer Derek Glascock does such a great job with the dialog in this book that it made me stick with it. Sure, the guys in this book are basically sitting around talking about absolutely nothing, but the way Glascock turns a phrase works here and it worked enough to hold this reader’s attention for the entire trade paperback. Jaysin Osterkamp does a fine job as well illustrating this book, making every character distinct and unique. His range of facial expressions and poses is vast and he draws a damn fine, curvy alterna-girl if you ask me. LOST is one of those books filled with characters that you will recognize from page one. They may not have been said or happened exactly in the same way, but I’ve lived through stuff like this. And while I often stay clear of slice-of-life books, I’m glad I didn’t do so here because after reading how effed up Chazz’s life is by the end of this book, you can’t help but feel a bit better about your own. Recommended for true indie types who hate spandex and those suffering from super hero overload.

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I loved going to see some splatter house, crap fest of a film in a drive in theater when I was a kid.  If the movie you were watching got boring all you had to do was turn around and watch the movie behind you (and let’s be honest, that one behind you was a lot more filled with nudity and violence than the one your parents took you to).   In the 1960s and 70s the Drive In was the best place to watch these Grindhouse films.  And let’s take a quick definition break, shall we?

Most of you think Grindhouse is a couple of films that came out a couple years ago directed by Tarantino and Rodriguez.  Ok… if this is your sense of what Grindhouse is, that’s ok, you’re about to get schooled, because that pisses me right the fuck off.  This would be like a movie coming out called “Comedy” and suddenly no one has ever heard of the film genre that once was comedy.  Grindhouse was a posthumously-genre title that was given to films that were, wait for it… that’s right… ground out in little to no time.  Yes, most were horror or splatter or even psychotronics, because these are the kinda films that would sell by the hundreds and seen in the theater for a couple weeks and then forgotten about in order to make way for the next blood-spraying title.  Most of these films took about a month to shoot and edit, hence, grinding out the movies.  Now you know, and as we all should know, knowing is half the battle.

Now that you know Grindhouse is a genre of shittily produced films and not some kind of skater dance music, you can see the immense draw drive ins had with these kind of films.  Drawing people by the hundreds to the outdoor mini-festivals every weekend.  But the Drive In was not like it is now.  My girlfriend and I  have been wanting to go see a drive in movie but all the movies are kid-friendly and that has no interest for me whatsoever… but still, I digress.  The drive in was a festive experience.  You didn’t have to sit in your car the whole time unless you’re copping a feel… and then by all means, stay in your vehicle.  It’s cool.

Going to the Drive in is a festive event.  Everyone gets to hang out and scream at the dumb blonde who is creeping down the stairs to the dark basements where the ax murder obviously is going to jump out after she scopes out the area declaring it finally safe.  It’s about sneaking 8 friends in the back of your truck and paying for just you and your girl. It’s about the constant friendly enviroment you get from everyone there because everyone else is there for the same reason: to see the craptastic movie on the outdoor screen and have a good time.

Lately, and by lately I refer to the  time span of the last 20 or so years, the Drive In has turned, well, let’s say, in to shit.  The last few times I have gone, everyone just sits in their car with the windows up.  No one is camped out on top of the trucks.  No one is walking around starting up fun film conversations.  And probably the worst thing of all, aside from the lack of Drive Ins, is the lack of crappy horror films.  Seriously.  WTF?  I want to scream along a few other dozen cars at the poorly executed blood spray of the squib that didn’t go off at the right moment.  But it would seem that these kind of movies aren’t what the public wants to see.  They want to see Beverly Hills Chihuahua, a movie so fucking terrible that I inadvertently erased it from my memory when I did my 2008 worst films of the year and forgot to add it to the top slot.  I don’t wanna see G-force or what ever crapfesticle crappity crap is playing this week.  I wanna see I Eat Your Flesh or I Drink Your Blood or Tomb of the Blind Dead, or to be truthful, almost anything that has Dead in the title, besides movies like Dead Calm.

Ok … tyrannical rant is now over.  Question of the week… and here is a doozy.  How many bullets were fired off in Hard Boiled?  If you can answer this I will have you as a guest author on an upcoming post discussing firearms and bullets in movies.

Until then, I’m off for more Dr Pepper.